D+B Chat Wrap Vol. I #1

Ok faithful readers, this is a new kind of blog post we are trying out here at D+B. We basically copied eee ess pee enne dot com's "Chat Wrap" format to bring you interesting and exciting commentary about the state of sports and sports reporting. The only difference is, the only people attending our chat is Dick and Bo, yea us. So here is a snippet of our latest chat wrap, where we talk about robbing intellectual property, tattoos, and quotation marks. Enjoy:


Bo: hey dick, we should steal Simmons' idea for the NBA tattoo book

Bo: then after making some money on that...write the one that brings down the whole BS/ESPN ruining sports

Dick: sweet. but,

Dick: the tattoo idea is idiotic.

Bo: it is...but, if simmons mentioned it,

Dick: who gives a f*ck about the tattoos.

Bo: idiots might get confused.

Bo: and think he actually gives a f*ck and buy it.

Dick: i get so bored looking at ppls tattos.

Dick: like, they are supposed to mean something and sh!t

Dick: and im supposed to "get it."

Bo: haha.

Dick: i "get it." you like putting "sh!t" on your skin. that's cool.

Dick: on chicks it can be sexy.

Bo: sometimes...

Dick: but i dont "care" "what" "it" "stands for."

Bo: haha.

Dick: haha quotation marks.

Dick: i love that blog.

Bo: yeah, it's pretty hilarious.

Bo: haven't checked it in a "while."

Dick: That's a wrap! Thanks guys (and gals).



- Courtesy Dick "Mary Had A Little Lamb" Huntenscwiser & Bo "London Bridge is Falling Down" Hannaolipolis

ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNEWS, ESPN Deportes Uhhh Uhhh...ESPN The Life?

So I'm doing my typical morning sports site browsing, checking box scores, reading moronic analysis and projections by so called experts like Tim Legler, who wrote in today's "Daily Dime" that the Houston Rockets, currently 5th in the NBA Western Conference, would miss the playoffs entirely. He writes: "The Rockets could be in big trouble. Tracy McGrady shutting it down to have microfracture surgery could be too much to overcome. " [ Hey wiseguy, the Rockets with a hobbled T-Mac this year have a much lower win % than when he doesn't play. It's like you can't be bothered to do an ounce of 'research' for your 'column.' WHAT A IDIOT! WHAT A LOSER!]

Anyway
Tim Legler's moronity is not the point of this post.

So, I was browsing ESPN.com...and noticed this:













YUP, IT'S ESPN: THE LIFE!!!!!

Now you too can be the bomb a$$ $h!t as you go from being awesomely aware of what ESPN tells you about sports to being hip and keen to what MP3's Paul Shirley decides not to erase from his hard drive all in the same PLACE (eee ess pee enn dot com). Compelling journalizm indeed. Wow, I just coined a new term:

journalizm - n. idiotcally mind-bending words stringed together into columnz by sitez that claim to be about newz. The sole purpose of journalizm is to waste your time. Yes, this blog is journalizm if you were wondering.

Now I'm done.

-Dick

Will Professional Sports Be Dead By 2012?

I highly doubt it.  I do, however, think that the four major United States professional sports leagues will probably be somewhat scaled down from what they are now.  Let's examine what might happen in the next few years for the National Football League, Major League Baseball, the National Basketball Association, and the National Hockey League.  

The US economy is in the tank.  At first glance, this doesn't really seem to effect professional sports organizations.  For example, in sports news today, the Arizona Cardinals offered a contract to their quarterback for more than $10 million.  It's hard, when just reading headlines, to think that anyone throwing around $10 mil is struggling in this economy.  But, the economy's drop has a far reaching effect on pro teams.  It's quite a complicated situation to delve into and some of it is way over my head, but, I'll just point out the obvious issues.  Fans will stop attending as many games.  The same fans who regularly attend games are the ones who are being most effected by this economic drop off.  It was hard enough to take a family of four to a ball game before people started to prepare for the worst.  Less people in the seats means less money for the organizations.  You might say that losing people in the stands would hurt but, it wouldn't be a death blow because most of these leagues make huge sums of money from their television contracts.  This is true.  But, remember what got these contracts in the first place...fans showing up at games.  If league wide attendance is down the next contracts might not be as lucrative for the leagues.  Even if attendance doesn't dramatically drop, the networks are businesses too.  They have to be smart about their money in these times.  If they cannot charge as much for advertising because other companies are becoming more frugal with their dollars then the networks won't offer as much to the leagues for the rights to broadcast games.  Thus decreasing the revenue for each pro league.  Ok, we've got that out of the way.  On to the individual sports.

Let's start with the NHL.  Of the four major sports we are discussing, it is the least popular professional sports league.  The reason for that is they cancelled an entire season (2004-05) over a labor dispute.  So, it's taken them quite a while to get back to where they were.  They also show the majority of their games on Versus.  What is Versus, you ask?  A cable channel owned by Comcast that not many people go to in order to watch sports.  The NHL kind of buried itself at a time that it needed to get as much publicity for it's young stars as possible.  The collective bargaining agreement  between the NHL and the NHLPA (player's association) ends after the 2010-11 season.  They cannot afford another cancelled season so, look for either the NHLPA to exercise their option to extend the agreement or a new deal to be reached beforehand.  Of the four sports, this one will have the least trouble reaching a new agreement.  But, getting this agreement will have the least impact on the sport's popularity compared to the others.  

Now every one's favorite past time, Major League Baseball.  Aside from the economic issues mentioned above, the MLB has been marred by scandal the past few years.  The topic of steroids in the game is a huge issue right now.  Major League Baseball has a publicity nightmare on it's hands and how it handles the situation is going to go a long way toward shaping it's future.  If the situation is mishandled, not only could they lose fans from the economic crisis, but, they could lose them from their own mistakes.  That would be a tough hit to take.  The MLB's collective bargaining agreement is up in December of 2011.  A big hurdle for the next agreement is going to be the testing of players for performance enhancing substances.  If the league loses fans like I think they're going to, any type of labor stoppage is going to hurt big time.  Their television contracts run out in 2013.  A loss of attendance combined with any work stoppage would drastically shrink revenue from television contracts.  The MLB is tangled in the mess that they've created for themselves.  I find it hard to believe that they will move up in popularity by their own doing.

I thought the NBA was sitting pretty.  They are growing in popularity.  They have a the next generation of superstars coming into their prime.  People are spending a lot of time talking about important free agents two seasons from now.  So, besides the potential attendance drop, what's the problem?  This.  I know that one guy, David Falk, saying something to help promote his book isn't proof that it's going to happen.   However, if it did...we've seen what happens if a league shuts down for one season. But, what about for two years?  Just as the NBA was asserting itself as a dominant sport again, it would all go away.  Fortunately, a two year work stoppage is highly unlikely.  Falk does make a good point about how the players should concede some things now for a greater return later.  The NBA's collective bargaining agreement expires in 2010-11.  If they can manage to make it through the tough economic times and renegotiate a new agreement without a work stoppage...we may be talking about the most popular pro sports league in the US.

Last but definitely not least, the NFL.  The most popular professional sport in the US.  The NFL is getting to the point of almost wearing out it's welcome in the top spot.  There are too many whiny players dominating the news these days.  On top of that there are way too many players running into legal troubles.  I'm not talking about a few reserve players.  We're talking about starters.  Plaxico Buress and Marshawn Lynch, I'm talking about you...just to name a couple.  These things are starting to get on fan's nerves, especially when you can see the compelling young superstars of the NBA on another channel.  This alone will not knock the NFL from it's perch atop the popularity poles.  But, this will.  Scroll down to the third reader submitted question.  John Clayton, the Professor, says that there is a 50% chance that a lockout happens in 2011.  Fifty percent!  Something like this gives the old NFL a giant shove off it's top spot and, depending on how MLB handles itself over the next few months, it may end up third in popularity.

The bottom line with all of this is that the professional sports world is headed for some interesting times.  The economic downturn that the US has taken will have a huge effect on the pro leagues.  Add that to the fact that all of their collective bargaining agreements are up with a few seasons and you have the makings of potential disasters.  The leagues are going to have to adapt wisely.  I think that this is eventually going to be healthy for all of these leagues.  There is too much money involved for everyone, players and owners, to stupidly let their leagues crash and burn.  The leagues will make or be forced to make smart decisions that will lead to a better product for the fans.                                     

 

                      

On Second Thought...

...maybe we owe Oakland Raider's owner Al Davis an apology.  You see, after his insane press conference to announce the firing of then head coach Lane Kiffin, we posted about how Davis' mind was like a black hole that was killing the Raiders.  We're not apologizing for saying that Davis is running the Raiders into the ground.  We still think he is doing just that with his disastrous free agent signings, poor head coaching choices, and his control freak way of operating the organization.  What we are apologizing for is calling him crazy.  At the time, it seemed that Davis had lost his marbles when he held that press conference.  The stress of being the owner of an underachieving franchise had finally made him crack.  We even ran this picture as evidence of Davis losing his mind.  Pretty convincing, wouldn't you say?

As it turns out...Al Davis appears to be right about Lane Kiffin.  The University of Tennessee hired Kiffin to be their head coach a few months ago.  And since Kiffin's hiring all he has done is come off as a pompous jerk. Multiple. Times.  Apparently, Lane Kiffin thinks he is the greatest coach ever.  Even though he hasn't coached one meaningful play at Tennessee, he called out a coach who has won 2 national titles and lead another team to an undefeated season.  Good luck next year Coach Kiffin.  The Southeastern Conference coaches and players have long memories.  

So, Mr. Davis, Dick and I are very sorry for calling you crazy.  As an apology, we'd like to show our fans the younger, more football aware version of you.

          

   

Dr. Carlan Yates: 0 pts, 0 rebounds, 0 ast, 1 blk

Let me ask you this:  If you were laid off by your employer for financial reasons, then asked to come back to work a few days later for that very employer, would you work as hard for them?  Current economic situation aside, the answer is: probably not.  A similar scenario took place involving the Oklahoma City Thu....New Orleans Hornet's center Tyson Chandler.  New Orleans was trading him to the Oklahoma City Thunder for two expiring contracts when the Thunder rejected the trade because Chandler didn't pass a physical.  So, Chandler ends up back on the Hornets, the team that was trying to get rid of him and his salary.  How can he go out and play his best when the organization he plays for doesn't really want him?  I know most players realize it's a business and they don't really play for the organization.  They play their best for their teammates.  But, still wouldn't you find it hard to give it your all for a place that tried to get rid of you?  

Another interesting twist in this story is that the Thunder's Dr. Carlan Yates who failed Chandler is the same one who performed the surgery on his injured toe.  Is the doctor admitting that he isn't good at fixing injuries?  What does that do for his stock as a doctor if you have an injury that he suggests surgery on?  I would ask him why bother, if he's not going to really fix anything.  This is what Yates told Chandler, " 'He told me, 'I have no doubt you can play on it. I'm just saying it could take a turn for the worse if you come down on somebody's foot or hyperextend it or something.' "  Couldn't that happen to any NBA player?  I don't see how the likelihood of accidental injury increases based on past surgeries.  

Regardless, this is an unusual situation to be in.  The Thunder had an improved team, now they don't.  The Hornets dumped some salary, picked up two expiring contracts, and were headed into the off season with some salary cap room...now they're in the same spot as before.  Tyson Chandler is in limbo. My guess is that the Hornets will move him somewhere before the trade deadline.  Keep and eye on the Thunder as well, their two expiring contracts could play an important role as the trade deadline rapidly approaches. 

We Want Zeke! We Want Zeke! We Want Zeke!

The NBA all-star break is almost upon us. Of course, this means that trade rumors are beginning to make their way around The Dick and Bo Show rumor mill, also known as the Internet. This year's big rumor is that the Phoenix Suns are shopping everyone except Steve Nash. This got Dick and I talking about trades to make our teams better.

Let's lay our teams out at the beginning: Bo - Chicago Bulls/Dick - Houston Rockets. With that said, Dick is tired of the Rockets and their current roster situation, so he is abandoning them until further notice. To improve the team he formerly supported, he wants to get rid of two over-paid, not clutch enough "superstars" - Tracey McGrady and Ron Artest. The Rockets should keep Yao and build around him with their young talent. That is the only acceptable way for the Rockets to keep Dick's booming cheers headed their way. So, let's do this again: Bo - Chicago Bulls/Dick - Cleveland Cavaliers.

After the Los Angeles Lakers beat the Cavs this past weekend, handing Lebron James and rest of the Cavs their first home loss of the season, Dick realized what I had been saying all along. The Cavs need to be deeper in order to win a championship. Here's the first trade to shore up the Cavs that Dick would like to see happen: Cleveland trades Wally Sczcerbiak to the Los Angeles Clippers for Marcus Camby and another player for salary cap purposes. This immediately gives the Cavs depth in the front court, a decent scorer, and an excellent defender/rebounder. If this happens, I say look out Eastern Conference.

Here's the second trade: Cleveland sends Wally Sczcerbiak and Eric Snow to Phoenix for Shaquille O'Neal. This trade is plausible on many levels. The Suns get two expiring contracts and, if the rumors are true, expiring contracts are exactly what you want if you are trying to dump salary. The Cavs get a proven post player who will make them the team to beat in the East. Now you might be thinking, Shaq is old and pretty washed up. Actually, I agree with that. But check out his stats from this season so far. Not too bad. Plus, he'd be able to split time in Cleveland with Big Z.

Now, on to my team, the Chicago Bulls. I'll make this quick. The Bulls need a dominant low post player. The Phoenix Suns are trying to dump big salaries. The Bulls should send Kirk Hinrich and Tyrus Thomas to the Suns for Amare Stoudamire. This trade could work for the Suns because, not only they would be getting rid of a big salary, they could use Hinrich as Steve Nash's replacement. Nash is an expiring contract next year that could be a nice piece in a trade. It'd be great to see Derrick Rose and Stoudamire running the floor together or working a pick and roll.

All of our discussions about trades led us to this epiphany...we need Isiah "Zeke" Thomas back running a team. Talking about trade rumors are just like making predictions for NFL games. They're pretty useless because we are just guessing and, most of the time, we, along with the other "experts", are wrong. So, in order for the NBA to have exciting trades every year and not just rumors, Commissioner David Stern should mandate that Zeke becomes the general manager of Oklahoma City, Sacramento, Memphis, or Los Angeles Clippers. This is the team that we think Zeke would've rounded up this year:

Jermaine O'Neal - C, $21.3 million with 2 years left

Ben Wallace - PF, $14.5 million with 2 years left

Larry Hughes - SF, $12.8 million with 2 years left

Tracey McGrady - SG, $20.3 million with 2 years left

Kirk Hinrich - PG, $10 million with 4 years left




















Although there are four players that have expiring contracts in two seasons, we're sure Isiah would sign at least 2 of them to ridiculous contract extentions. Be sure to notice how Bulls General Manager John Paxson signed two of the contracts (Wallace and Hinrich) and has another one (Hughes) on the team. Good job Mr. Paxson.

You Just Watched the Greatest Game from the Greatest Franchise...or Maybe Not

Hello again faithful fans.  Dick and Bo here with another exciting post announcing the new podcast.  Dick's Super Bowl hangover leads him into one of his classics rants.  You need to listen to it.  Seriously.  After regrouping, we move on to discussing the Super Bowl itself.  We both agree that it was a pretty entertaining game to watch.  And, as fans, that's what we all want, right?  Was it the greatest Super Bowl ever?  It's really hard to step back and compare Super Bowls the week after a good one finishes.  I doubt this game was better than last year's but, we've had an entire year to analyze the previous Super Bowl.  Let's all just agree that the game was entertaining to watch and leave it at that.  

One of the other topics we discuss about the Super Bowl was if the Pittsburgh Steelers were now the greatest franchise in sports.  I say they are top 3.  Number 1: New York Yankees.  Number 2:  Boston Celtics.  Number 3: Pittsburgh Steelers.  I base this on number of championships that each franchise has won.  The Steelers did win their 6th Lombardi Trophy last weekend.  I also point out that the Steelers have done this under one family as owners.  Seemingly valid points, no?  That's right about when Dick dropped some knowledge on me.  Yeah, apparently the Green Bay Packers lead the NFL with 12 championships followed by the Chicago Bears with 9. Check it out here.  After going all "Christian Bale" on our research department, I have to agree with Dick. I completely forgot to add in the NFL championships that franchises won before the creation of the Super Bowl.

As I write this, I'm almost positive that a lawsuit is being compiled to be filed against The Dick and Bo Show.  The reason?  We inadvertently forgot to give credit to the fan who sent in the suggestion for our...Separated. At. Biiiiiiirth...segment.  So, with sincere apologies, we'll do it here.  

The Dick and Bo Show fan extraordinaire,  Jessica Monday writes, "Great show guys, keep up the good work.  Would it kill you to talk about the WNBA sometime?  Anyway, here's a suggestion for separated at birth.  Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones and Actor Henry Gibson.  Henry Gibson is the older, creepy neighbor from the movie, "The Burbs", in case you don't know.  My boyfriend doesn't agree with me, but, he generally doesn't know much about anything."  

Thanks, Jessica.  We really appreciate your listener ship/readership and support.  We don't talk about the WNBA because Dick doesn't think it's a legitimate sport.  I disagree.  I'll try to keep up the good fight and get a podcast about it eventually.  So, as we mentioned during the podcast it appears that Jerry Jones and Henry Gibson are almost certainly...Separated.  At.  Biiiiiiiirrrrth.

Who says plastic surgery doesn't lead to anything good?  If Jerry Jones hadn't had so much work done he never would've made it into this segment.  Check out the podcast when you get a chance.  And keep checking back for more shows in the coming weeks.