Thursday, October 29, 2009

Skip Bayless KNOWS drugs. He knows everything.

Dick: dude



Skip Bayless and Rob Parker debate Andre Agassi's admission that he used crystal meth (click for link).


how do you "debate" this

Bo: idea

he was on this drug...not this drug

you can see here that his pupils are extremely dilated

that means meth

not coke

Dick: skip bayless would debate a toad about whether or not it's an amphibian

Bo: he would

Dick: "im just saying, you chill out on land, you have bumpy skin, ALMOST scaly. I think you are more of a reptile, really"

Bo: haha

what a waste

of time

Dick: haha

but the book

im not sure i've ever been all that excited about a sports figure's book coming out, but agassi, he's intriguing

Bo: yeah, the book could be interesting

and it is almost unbelievable that a pro athlete could use meth

but, how, if you are not there, can you debate it


Dick: haha

skip is a dbag

Bo: he is. way better when he was a writer

because you couldn't tell he was such a dbag

yep, agassi is a pretty amazing case

unless it comes out that he was on hgh

all of the potential signals are there

Dick: count on it


Monday, July 27, 2009

Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month - July 09

Oh, hello...didn't see you there. You stopped in at the right time. It's getting to the end of the month again and you know what that means. It's time for another edition of The Dick and Bo Show's Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month!!! Ok, ok. Sit back, relax, and enjoy wasting some precious time.

Number 5

Three days!?!

I was under the impression that the NFL Draft lasted for months. Apparently, it's just the incredible amount of media coverage and speculation that makes the draft seem that way. The article points out that it was expanded from two days. I would've bet money that it lasted from right after the Super Bowl until sometime in April.

Obviously, this is a shameless ploy by the NFL for more advertising dollars. The draft, at least the first round or two, already had the attention of most football fans. It's exciting to see who your team is going to get.

Anyway, this article isn't really worth a read because they could tell football fans the week before the draft that it's going to take place on Thursday night and people would still tune in. Unless, of course, it's like the MLB All-Star game and people realize that they have better things to do during the week. Do you really care that it's expanding to three days? Didn't think so.

Number 4

No, I swear. Promise. I didn't do it. I met a girl. Pamela, I think. She was covered in it. I kissed her anyway. I know. Stupid decision. I didn't really think she was covered in that! Ah, tennis players. What'll they think of next?

Here is the reason that this story is a M/Fer:

Richard who? It's men's tennis. If it's not Rafel Nadal or Roger Federer who cares.

Number 3

In a recent autobiography Michael Phelps...wait no...Josh Howard...hang on...Allen, no, he's not the one...ah, yes, Lebron James admitted to using marijuana. Once. In high school. So that is supposed to get me read the rest of this article and buy the book? Come on. Tell me about how he never went to class or made $50,000 a year for going to school there. Don't tell me something that a lot of high school kids do. What a waste!

Number 2

If Pete Carroll is coaching the opposition I'd be worried for Notre Dame. I don't know if this story is out there because no one wants to talk about how bad the actual team at Notre Dame is or if there really are that many fans who want to hear about how a bunch of old guys are going to pull some muscles trying to beat up a bunch of Japanese football players. Really, ESPN? This is the kind of story that you run for us. There wasn't anything else going on? Nothing? Stop insulting our intelligence, please!

Number 1

Well we've reached the apex. This is it! Hold on everybody!! Here it is. Yep, that's right. Tim Tebow is a virgin. This story is such a waste of time that I don't even know what to write about it. On one hand, I don't care about this at all and on the other hand I don't care about this at all. Is this really what we've come to? Wow. That's all I can say.

There you have it folks. Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed another edition of The Dick and Bo Show's Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month of July.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Journalizm Police - 7-07-09

Breaking news: ESPN's own Chris Broussard, in an obvious effort to get face time on the mothership, reported this morning that NBA superstar Lebron James told fellow player Trevor Ariza he was going to stay in Cleveland after his contract expires in 2010. Supposedly, BronBron told Trevor this information in a futile attempt to lure the free agent to join him and Shaq Diesel for their much-anticipated 2009 title run. I'd link to the article/5 minute wankfest of a video but...

Oh wait, no, no, Lebron didn't tell Trevor anything. And guess who's around to tell us about it? Mr. Chris Broussard!

Well done, Chris Broussard, you slave to the 24-hr news cycle, you'd probably quote some puke head friend of yours from middle school now on Facebook as a "confidential source with inside knowledge of the NBA as it pertends to Lebron James" just to get your mug on the air. You sir, for your failure to check sources, are under arrest by the JOURNALIZM POLICE.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month - June 09

It's that time of the month again, faithful readers. It's time for another edition of The Dick and Bo Show's Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month. Let's get right to it, shall we?

Number 5

You remember
this guy, right? A little foggy? You may recognize him better like this.

Yep, that's Maurice Clarett. The former The Ohio State University running back. I'm sure by now you are recalling that he is in prison. And by
now you are asking why do I care about Maurice Clarett? Here's why. Apparently, someone thought enough of you to report that Clarett is seeking an early release from his sentence in order to make a comeback in the NFL. Riiiiight, like any team is going to touch a washed up troublemaker. Although, I guess there is an opening or two on the Dallas Cowboys for that sort of player.

Number 4

Gambling and sports have a long, intertwined history that I am not going into right now. Just know that people place bets on sporting events. Occasionally, athletes get involved in gambling which leads to embarrassment all around. What's worse then a player getting involved in gambling? A
referee getting caught betting on games. That's what.

You may be wondering why this is on the list at #4. This seems like and very news worthy event. Something that isn't a waste of anyone's time. This guy officiated crucial games in the NBA season and playoffs and
bet on them!!! My response to you, dear reader, is you're right! This is absolutely news worthy.

This, however, is not. Correct me if I'm wrong, but gambling is a shady business. A guy who goes to prison for illegal betting and who is a participant in the investigation that could lead to the arrests of other people involved isn't going to be making a lot of friends. So, when said convicted gambler runs across a friend of someone being investigated, they get hit with a "paint-rolling stick" on the knee. Or they get hit with something that would actually hurt. Either way, it's not news.

Number 3

As a sports franchise one thing that happens each year that builds excitement about your team is the draft. A high pick means you can choose someone that your fans can be excited to watch. Last year, the Chicago Bulls unexpectedly got the #1 pick. They chose Derrick Rose, an extremely talented PG. Rose went on to have a tremendous rookie season. He left no doubt that he is a guy to build a team around. But, don't take my word for it. Check
this out.

So, the idea that I summed up by saying, "Rose went on to have a tremendous rookie season. He left no doubt that he is a guy to build a team around.", K.C. Johnson got paid write. In way more words. Seems like the whole story was fairly obvious to me. Alas, I read it anyway. On a Monday.

Number 2

The year round nature of sports and sports reporting these days is pretty ridiculous if you ask me. You can tell when someone needs to meet a deadline and will put pretty much anything out there that may qualify as a story or

The New York Jets are looking for some hype after a disappointing 2008 season. All I can say is, "Look out AFC EAST!" If the Jets' newly drafted QB, Mark Sanchez can throw touchdown passes in minicamp, there is no telling what he can do in a real game. The sky is the limit for this guy. Puh-leeze. This was a big waste of time but not the biggest of this past month.

Number 1

Kobe. Bryant. Is. Focused.

Don't believe me?
Proof. Yep, there was no bigger time waster this past month then the media telling us over and over and over again that Kobe Bryant was determined to win an NBA championship. Really? They had to tell us this? Was he not focused last year? This is getting ridiculous. Until next time.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month - May 09

Hi there faithful readers...we've been a little busy with work lately so, our water cooler discussions of sports have slowed to a trickle.  Never-the-less, we bring this month's addition of the Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month.

Number 5


Soccer?  Ok, ok.  Soccer is a cool sport.  It's not very popular here in the States but, it's huge elsewhere in the world.  So, contrary to popular US belief, a soccer story isn't always a waste of time.  However, a story about David Beckham wanting to return to AC Milan as soon as his current season in the MLS is over is's like...ah, yes...a guy named Brett Favre wanting to play football again.  Completely a waste of time.

Number 4

Somewhere an Arizona State football fan wept.

It's nice that John Elway (that's him on the right) supports his son's decision to leave the Arizona State football team.  It seems really nice that a big weight has been lifted off of Elway's son since he left the team.  I'm sure that it is very difficult to follow in your extremely successful father's footsteps.  Why do we care to know about this?  We don't.  It's just put in front of us in an easily accessible format.

Number 3

How dare they!

How dare former players ever...EVER...say something negative about their former college program.  Who do they think are criticizing the program after a loss?  I mean, really?  I understand Urban Meyer being a bit upset over a former player's comments but saying, "You're either a Gator or you're not a Gator."  Come on, Urban.  Don't get so offended.  And don't say things that can turn into useless stories.

Number 2

This kind of thing would never happen if he were alive.

Sometimes pitchers purposely throw pitches at or near opposing batters.  This has been happening guess is...since the beginning of this game.  Although, the first baseball players were true gentlemen who looked more like this.  So, maybe pitchers weren't throwing at batters until a few years after the beginning of the sport.  I'd like to send a high inside fastball at ESPN right now...on purpose.  Fine me.

Number 1

We arrive at the most pointless story of the month.  Here it is.

Apparently, Pete Rose, if he were making the decisions, would give Alex Rodriguez a second chance and still vote him into the hall of fame.  Rose goes on to say that he believes "baseball records are sacred" and would be mad if someone who took steroids broke his records.  Let's get this straight.  Pete Rose, a guy banned for life from the hall of fame and openly campaigning to get into the hall, would give someone a second kidding.  I'm glad someone put that in writing for me.  On top of that, Rose thinks baseball records are sacred?  Of course he does.  How else is going to bet on teams if he doesn't know their record?  

That's it for another month's worth of wasted sports stories.  Check back soon for more podcasts and blog posts.         

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month

Hello faithful readers.  It's a new monthly post for the Dick and Bo Show Blog.  In case you were wondering, the M/F stands for Monday and Friday.  Why?  Because these stories are so ridiculous, so boring, so utterly unimportant that you either read them on Monday, when you are trying not to start the work week, or Friday, when you are trying to end it.  These stories are packed full of completely useless information that you will have no need to recall at any point in your life...ever.  I give you the Top 5 M/F Stories of April 2009.

Number 5

The NFL's very own Detroit Lions unveiled a new logo this past month.  The team said that, "the changes are consistent with its 'sense of mission and direction'".  Riiiiiiiight, like this new fierce lion really cares what the Lions' mission and direction is.  Obviously, this logo is what's going to help them turn the corner to greatness.  I'm sure the players look at that logo with a sense of pride that they didn't have last year.  When they look at that logo, something tells them that everything will be alright.  Something tells them that, right now, no team has any wins.

Number 4

Any college football fan knows that the University of Notre Dame has been down on its luck lately.  Actually, they have been downright awful, save for a couple of years here and there.  Well, at the end of another horrible showing, Notre Dame took a few days to decide if they were going to fire their head coach, Charlie Weis.  The Associated Press via ESPN wanted you to know that Charlie talked about the possibility of leaving Notre Dame over with his family.


         Charlie Weis talking things over with his family

So, anyone out there care?  I didn't think so.  Besides this being completely's also a classic case of stating the obvious.  Who wouldn't discuss a huge career move with their family?  The level of newsworthiness deteriorates from here.

Number 3

Everyone has grown tired of Terrell Owens...well, except maybe Buffalo Bills fans.  But, they will.  Soon.  In case you didn't hear, this past off season the Dallas Cowboys released Owens.  A lot was made about meetings that Owens, Tony Romo, and Jason Witten had with Cowboys offensive coordinate Jason Garrett.  Owens accused Romo and Witten of having secret plays that would exclude him from getting the ball.  Blah, blah, blah, right?  Wrong!  Apparently, we can't get enough of this nonsense.  Why do we have to hear about this!?!  Owens is on the Bills.  Witten is going to be catching passes from Romo.  It doesn't matter anymore!!!  Although, check this out.  After seeing this photo I believe that, maybe, just maybe, Owens was on to something about Witten and Romo.  Do you see the look in Witten's eyes?

Number 2

What's more pointless than predicting this year's NFL draft?  How about predicting next year's?  Somehow this guy knows what the draft order is going to be, who is going to have a good senior season, and which players aren't going to suffer career threatening injuries.  Am I missing something?  This is an interesting quote: "Here's an absurdly early look at how the 2010 first round could shape up."  Stating the obvious doesn't make up for the complete waste of time that your article is.  How can this possibly be worth reading?  And now the biggest time waster of last month.

Number 1

If you didn't read enough about their first wedding.  If you need all of the details.  If you stay up at night wondering what colors they wore for their second wedding.  This story is for you.  Yep, Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen had a second wedding.  In Costa Rica.  Awesome.  Congratulations...on your second wedding.  I guess.  Whatever.  The Dick and Bo Show was able to obtain a picture of Tom Brady on his wedding night.  A little scrawny, no?  

Well there you have it, sports fans.  It was a football heavy first edition of the Top 5 M/F Stories of the Month, but, April is the biggest month of the off season.  And it seems that the longer sports are into their off season, the more pointless they become.  Oh, if you were wondering, when we do podcasts...Dick wears a red flannel shirt and I wear a green t-shirt.  Both of us wear jeans.  Check back next month for another edition.  And stay tuned for more podcasts and blog posts to come.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Journalizm Police - 4.24.09

"Journalizm Police is a new segment on the D+B Show Blog where we find glowing examples of the sports media empire's wondrous ineptitude in the field of JOURNALIZM"

Here's some quality journalizm from the Associated Press, via ESPN.COM

In a wide-ranging talk with ESPN's [own] Peter Gammons, [Yankees General Manager Brian] Cashman said he was shocked when he learned that Alex Rodriguez had tested positive for steroids in 2003.

"It caught us all off-guard," Cashman said. "But at the same time I'm not shocked about anything any more."

so....Mr. AP, is Cashman "shocked" or not?